Alternative Intimacy

Do you find yourself saying any of these things?

“I need something different.”
“I need more sex.”
“I need time to myself.”
“I need to feel wanted.”
“I need more help around the house.”
“I need more quality time with my partner.”
“I need to know my desires are normal and okay.”

The first step toward having your needs met is to understand what those needs are. The second step is to allow yourself to have those needs, no matter what they are!

What makes Alternative Intimacy unique?

Alternative Intimacy helps you understand your needs and wants, and teaches you how to communicate those needs effectively. I utilize relationship coaching and communications consulting to help you thrive. A little proactive communication can go a very long way!

Here are some ways I help people:

  • dealing with jealousy or resentment
  • coming to terms with their sexuality or gender
  • understanding partner time management
  • navigating ethical non-monogamy
  • expanding sexual boundaries

Coaching

How does coaching work?

Life coaching brings your life from functional to optimal, by examining what’s getting in the way of your fulfillment. Unlike therapy, we don’t focus on past trauma, choosing instead to look ahead and strive to meet your goals. Unlike a teacher or consultant, who brings expertise to fix a problem, coaching enables you to find unique solutions to your challenges. You are your best expert! I facilitate and guide the process. I combine a PhD in the anthropology of communication with training as a life coach, specializing in relationship and intimacy coaching.

Many people struggle with getting their needs met. I help individuals who seek to understand their needs or who desire personal growth. I also coach couples in taking active steps to recognize their needs and improve communication. This allows people to get what they need from their partners either intimately or emotionally. I can help anyone who wants greater fulfillment in an existing relationship. Couples with a mismatch of needs or erotic interests or who speak different love languages may particularly benefit.

Often all that stands in the way of your own development is you! Life coaching looks at patterns hindering our success and raises energy levels for fulfillment.

Who do you coach?

I coach adults of all descriptions: individuals, couples, or poly groups. All genders and sexual orientations are welcome. I have an extensive academic background in queer theory, LGBTQIA+ studies, and alternative lifestyles, so this is a judgment-free zone where personal exploration is welcomed and encouraged. If you are coming to me for a relationship issue, you are welcome to see me independently of your partner. You can experience significant growth working with me solo, and bring those lessons home to benefit your relationship.

Do you only coach on relationship topics?

Not at all! I have experience helping people manage health and fitness, achieve weight loss, communicate more effectively with their coworkers, improve workplace productivity, manage stress, and more. The skills of a good coach can be applied across the board to any issues you may be facing, helping you achieve success in the areas of your life that may currently be a struggle.

Credentials

In order to get the most benefit out of your coaching experience, it’s important to ensure your coach is qualified. I have decades of training and experience all designed to help you get your needs met:

  • PhD from Yale University in Anthropology, with research on gender, language, and sexual identity. I studied sociocultural linguistics and power dynamics in communication. As a social scientist, I bring a unique perspective to understanding and resolving communications challenges in personal and professional relationships.
  • Certified Professional Coach, having completed over 300 hours of coach-specific training at iPEC, the premier certification program approved by the International Coach Federation.
  • Presented at conferences in multiple disciplines across the country, including anthropology, gender studies, gay/lesbian studies, linguistics, popular culture, and consent. I have experience in research, writing, editing, and teaching at the college level.
  • I’ve been working with individuals and couples as a communications consultant since 2006, helping people explore their desires and resolve internal and interpersonal conflicts.
  • Read my weekly sex and relationship advice column, Unconventional Love

Appointments

Where are you located? How does remote coaching work?

I have a private office in central Connecticut off I-84. I also offer remote coaching via phone or Google Meet.

When can I see you?

I take appointments between the hours of noon and 9pm. Weekend appointments are welcome. Coaching sessions typically last about an hour, though your initial intake appointment may be slightly longer.

How can I contact you?

The best way is via email: erbusbee@hotmail.com